Moving Forward

Wow what can I say.. It sure has been a crazy 2012 so far. But things are starting to look up thank goodness. We just got the letter from the courts stating that the cases have all been closed and the state has nothing to do with our situation anymore. (that was a nice weight to be lifted off) I would never wish that upon anyone that is in the right, it was a horrible experience that I never want to go through again. Second my wonderful smart talented husband has now moved on from Air Cold Supply. He had worked at Air Cold for 10+ years and the last 5 years had been hell for him. He is now working for the wonderful company called Johnstone Supply. They are treating him very nicely and hey he is making a lot more money so we are very excited about that. Last Wed was a very hard day for Jeff and I though. ... As you know we have been trying for a little mini us and last month I was 5 days late. We were getting so excited to take the pregnancy test at the end of the week and on the 5th day at 2am I had the worst cramping in my stomach ran to the bathroom and I had started. Trying to get pregnant and wanting to be a mom so bad is probably one of the hardest things I will do in my life. It is so tiring and emotional draining. But we will keep on trying and hope that in the next few months our prayers will come true. As far as my wonderful step kids go they are growing up so fast. It is crazy to think that I came into Brooklyn's life when she was 1 and tomorrow she will be 4 so crazy. Wyatt just turned 9 yeah me having a 9 year old son who would have thought lol and Owen just turned 6. For Wyatt's birthday we were down at mom and dads house and had a little get together for him down there.. For Owens birthday party we all went to Classic Skating and the kids had a blast. .. We are going to have a little get together tomorrow at our house for Brooklyn's birthday it should be a good time. Friday Jeff's dad is going to be coming down for the weekend and we are so excited to have him.. he is also bringing Brooklyn a little kitty (I said I would never have a cat) but hey she loves them so why not?? It will be a new thing for all of us. Oh my friend Chanda and I are also starting a Krafty Konfessions on Thursday. Once a month a bunch of us girls get together and do crafts.. It is going to be so much fun and something so new. All in all things seem to be on the up and up.. Cant believe Summer is pretty much over, seems like we didn't do anything this year. Well until next time.. Love who you are..

Ill say whatever you want to hear.. ughhh

Yesterday went as expected. Jessica came into the meeting saying everything and anything that the FPT and myself wanted to hear. But, I wasn't buying it. Some of the things she had said I honestly had to hold my laugh back because they were so out there.. I just don't understand how someone can be so convincing to others. All in all it went as good as I predicted it to go.

Now for the GAL Cindy Ensign I am very disappointed with her. She is the kids lawyer. After our meeting she wanted to meet with the FPT to talk about some questions she did have. Well finding out later that evening from the FPT she had mentioned that "Myself and Jeff were having an affair with each other" and that "Jeff is biased against women" all this coming from Jessica obviously. Just makes my emotions sky rocket to know that the person that is the kids lawyer would be so one sided. Thankfully this case will hopefully be closed next wed and she will not be moving on with us to custody court. Just hope Jessica doesn't manipulate anymore people.

Today

Well today is the day, to say the least I am pretty nervous about it. I don't know why I would be but I am. I hate confrontation and I don't know how I am going to handle some of the things that Jessica is going to say. I know I will be strong I mean for heavens sake we sat through court listened to her on the stand saying that we abuse the kids, if I didn't ring her neck then, I am pretty sure I will be able to be strong today. It is going to be hard sitting in a room with just her and the therapist for an hour but I think it will be even harder sitting in a room with, the kids therapist (note: the one Jessica takes them to, who only knows one side), The DCFS case worker (note: that has been friends with Jessica this whole case), The GAL (note: who also only knows one side and would like to see the kids taken away from us) and the family preservation therapist that has been working with all of us that feels that the kids are safe with us. Hopefully this all goes well.

Yesterday evening we had the FPT come over to our house just like every Tuesday night for the past two months to interact with us and the kids. Well he decided he wanted to speak the truth and let us know how getting full custody of the kids is probably not going to work out in our favor. He said that if we did go for full custody then we are going to go through a tough and a hard time (like these past two years haven't been)? That the only way we could get full custody is if we were able to prove that Jessica has harmed the children which with how she is and all of her cover ups it probably wont happen. (Don't you think that this whole abuse case, trial, lies, mental abuse done to the children on her behalf would be enough)? He tells us you would have to prove it. Just makes me sick to think that all this time we have had the kids taken away from us, all the pain, heartache and stress and we have done nothing wrong and she will probably end up with the kids. I don't what to take the kids out of her life she is their mother but I do want to get them out of the situation that they are in. If we don't get full custody all we want is for her to move out of her parents condo. Her mother has a huge negative impact on everything that has been going on. She is crazy, and very rude to her grandchildren and even Jessica. I don't know why Jessica would even want to be living there still when her mother is so rude to her and her kids.

On a high note: Jeff and I are getting out tomorrow night and going to the Kix Brooks concert. It will be nice to just get out.

These next two weeks....



First time camping in the backyard!!

 Update....

Well after almost two years of trying to get Jessica (the ex) to meet up with me, get to know me, understand who I am and that I didn't come into a relationship trying to take her kids away from her. .. After Jessica not wanting to meet me, saying that I have no right to be apart of her kids life, that I shouldn't be apart of parent teacher conferences and the list goes on.. I FINALLY get to sit down with her this Wednesday with our therapist from the state and talk with her. We shall see how it all goes.. then after that we have a team meeting with CPS, The kids lawyer (who hates us cause of the image that has been painted to her), the kids counsel (another state worker) and Jessica, I can NOT wait until Wed is over lol.  Then we will finally be back in court on Aug 15th to hopefully close this bs case where we were blamed for abusing my sweet step-children and having all these allegations dropped. It will be so nice to be able to move on to the next step .. custody. There has been so much heart ache, drama, stress these past two years it will be nice to have the state, CPS and everyone that Jessica has made us look like these horrible people to out of our life's!!!

That being said we have been trying to grow our family for almost a year now and no luck yet =0( I am sure it has to do with all the stress and adding the stress from month to month. In September I will be able to start fertility testing so hopefully they will find something so we can grow our family. Keep your fingers crossed and our little family in your prayers.

Our life in a court room =0(

Well I havent talked to much about this cause it is something that has been hard on all of us. But, I have decided it was time to keep some type of journal some way to let my frustrations out.

I believe it all started April of 2010 its so hard to keep track now days. Jeff's ex-wife Jessica found out that Jeff and I were dating. She was not happy about it so she decided to keep the kids away from Jeff anyway she could. She wanted control. Once this happened Jeff contacted our lawyer Mark Wiser which we are already in the hole 20 grand with him.. yeah that could have been a new car or a down payment on a nice house. Jeff decided to file for 50/50 custody. About a week after we filed we recieved a call from the state indicating that they have been contacted by Jessica informing them that we have been abusive to the kids. This went on and on.. I believe to this day there are five abuse aligations that she has made up and had the kids lie for her. It is a feeling that I never wish upon anyone when you recieve a call and it is the state saying that your Oldest and middle child has told them that you hit them, locked them in the garage, hogged tied them and did much much more to them. We could not believe what we were hearing. It took every ounce of strength not to go over to Jessica's house well her parents condo where the all currently live and beat the day lights out of her for making her children do that. It wasnt the last time they would do this though. Every time they lied they were rewarded some how, how are you supposed to punish a kid that lies about something like that but its also being made to do it by their grandparents that they are afraid of and their mother. When you are that age you will do anything to have that attention and love from your mother.

It was the day of our wedding and it was so much fun. The kids got to be apart of it and we were a happy little family finaly! Well the next week when we went to go and pick up the kids Jessica was there with a cop and no kids to be seen. The cop then handed Jeff a restraining order indicating that at our wedding we had tied Owen down to a chair cause he was not listening and ripped the skin off his finger with pliars, and that is just the begining of what was in the documents. We were not able to see the kids until we could get in front of a judge and get this dropped. A month later we finaly got into see the judge.. the judge dropped the restraining order and Jessica and the state decided to push for the court to be moved to the Juvinal court. We finaly got to see the kids again after a month. We were all excited and things were back to being good having them around.

Court was scheduled at the juvinal court in West Jordan. The first day of court our family and friends attened to destify in our behalf. Wyatt was put on stand and he did so good he didnt lie, he told the truth we were so proud of him. The judge didnt believe the abuse aligations but sense it was the state that wanted to go to court they got to choose if the court should proceed in the findings. That being said a 7 day trial was scheduled for December 2011. Seven of the worst days of my life. Sitting in a court room watching over and over again Jessica, her dad, wyatt and owen get up on the stand and lie. Lie about everything. We had about 15 people that we thank from the bottom of our hearts that came to the trial and testifyed on our behalf. The judge needed time to go through all of her documents from the trial to come up with her decision. It was our year to have the kids for christmas but because the boys had lied we only got to see them for four hours on christmas.

We fianly heard back from the judge on her findings and her decision in Feburary of 2011. Yeah the wonderful legal system likes to drag everything out. She came to the conclusion that all the aligations made towards Jeff were not plausable and that she didnt believe them. Jeff was to go to therapy and we were to have family therapy with the kids. Then we would have our three month evaulation back in the court room. Jeff completed his thearpy but we were not able to start family thearpy cause the insurance being used for the kids personal thearpy that Jessica takes them to is the insurance Jeff provides them so we were unable to use our insurance for family thearpy. We couldnt afford $200 per hour two times a week to meet with a thearpist.

We then had our court eveluation and the judge was not happy about thearpy not starting and the lack of communicaton between Jeff and Jessica. There for the judge required for us to have family preservation by one of the state workers that she is to choose. We started the famly preservation (when a thearpist comes to our home when we have the kids) we have been doing it for about four weeks now and it has been going pretty good. Jessica is still not communicating with us. For example Owen broke his arm in june and she would not tell us what hospital they were at so we could come and see him. We asked her to inform us when his doctor appointments were and she failed to do that. She told the state that his cast got wet over at our house so she had to rush him into the hospital to get his cast off and his pins out.. (that was a lie) We had them over the 24th of July and when we went and picked the kids up she told us we had to have them back to her by 7am on the 25th cause the boys were to start school that day. As far as we knew the boys werent supposed to start until August 20th. She had gone and switched track schedules and did not inform us on her decision.

We have court on Aug. 15th to see how everything has been going and to close this case. Once this case is closed we can finaly go the district court and proceed on Full custody of the childern. We were going for 50/50 but after the two years of lies, not communicating and everything else that Jessica has put us through we will be going for full custody. Please keep us in your prayers that things will start going our way for once and that these poor kids can live a happy life cause right now they cant. So that was just a little bit there is so much more to what has gone on by I dont want to try and explod my brain remembering everything cause it is sooo stressful. We are supposed to get along with Jessica, how are we supposed to do that with someone that has tried to ruin our life and is still trying to this day. I do have to say our legal system is screwed up and I feel bad for everyone out there that has been convicted of something that they did not do.

I will post more updated once I have more...

We found LOVE

On July 9, 2011 we made our life a little more complete with our beautiful wedding. The night before our wedding it was raining and of course we were having an outside wedding in the back yard at my parents amazing home in Mt. Pleasant. So that night we called diamond rental up in Provo and they were kind enough to haul some serious butt down to Mt. Pleasant and set up tents for the wedding. The next day we woke up to a beautiful day not a single cloud in the sky. The day, ceremony and all the crazy fun dancing couldn't have been better. I will never forget how crazy my new husband was with his sweet dance moves and his tie tied around his head. Yep we have it all on video.. hahaha.. We took the next week off of work and headed up to Island park for some alone time camping, fishing and enjoying the outdoors. It went by way to fast. 

 I honestly thought I was never going to get married. All of my child hood friends were all getting married and starting there new families around me. But now looking back I am so happy that I waited to meet the love of my life. When I married Jeff I also became a stepmother to three beautiful children. Wyatt now almost 9, Owen turning 6 soon and little princess Brooklyn that will be 4 well going on 24 in September. Having three new kids to look over wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.. I guess my mother instincts just kicked it into gear. Oh man there are times though that I don't know how in the heck I am going to handle them but then they have to do just that one little sweet thing and there I am wrapped around there fingers once again. Yep we are trying for #4 hahah what am I thinking?? I am excited but at the same time terrified. Four kids oh man. We live up in Salt Lake City .. hate it at times but then again I think its not that bad. We have many goals set for our little family of five right now and it will start with trying our hardest to get full custody of my three amazing stepchildren.